Dear KPMG...I want in!

Dear KPMG:

According to recent CBC news reports your accounting firm has assisted no less than 20 of the wealthiest Canadians in avoiding taxes through the use of dummy corporations on the Isle of Man.

In fact, KPMG has, so far, ignored a court order to disclose the names of clients involved in this tax avoidance scheme. One could say that your deep connections with government, its officials and agencies, has given KPMG unlimited free reign over the tax code, regardless of the legalities and consequences. 

Accountability! What accountability? Who needs it, right?

 VS

And then, somehow, KPMG manipulates the CRA into offering a secret deal for your clients! Wow, impressive! The CRA actually bowing down to the almighty power of KPMG. Masterful, just masterful.

So, as Danny Devito says to George Clooney, in the coffee-maker TV commercial, “I want in!”

Now, I do not have hundreds of millions of dollars to hide, like your Top 20 “1-percenters”, however, I want the same deal. I figure KPMG already has a template for such a scheme, right? Why not go all in and offer this scheme to every tax paying Canadian? Imagine sharing your tax avoidance scheme with millions of Canadians!

Instead of having to deal with 20 clients the CRA may have to chase 5 million clients! KPMG could charge each new client, based on their income, say about $250 each. $250 x 5 million!!! Holy Tax Avoidance!

And, KPMG could protect us all with a secret deal, too! I'm getting goose bumps just thinking about all the money Canadians could save with KPMG. Brrrrrrrrr!

I want to publicly thank the CBC for bringing this new tax plan to my attention. It now allows KPMG the opportunity to share their knowledge with the rest of the country. How lucky are we?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards, Your Potential Client

Daisy Chain

The Importance of Employee Empowerment and Customer Service

The Importance of Employee Empowerment and Customer Service

A new returns desk cashier faces her first irate customer who is trying to return a broken tape measure. She politely explains the manufacturer’s warranty which does not cover his particular situation -a broken end. She then refuses his demand for a refund. The customer explodes and becomes verbally abusive towards the new cashier. She withers under his tirade and starts to cry. That’s when I happen along and decide to intervene.

I call the head cashier, explain the situation, and suggest that the new cashier needs a break to calm herself. Then, I guide the irate customer away from the returns desk and walk towards the hardware department. We discuss his issue, and I explain that the cashier is correct in her refund refusal, as it follows the manufacturer’s warranty limitations. She is just following her training to the letter. After all, it is her first day on the job.

I, then, explain that I will replace his broken tape measure at no charge, despite the manufacturer policy. This decision completely de-escalates the situation. In fact, he freely opens up regarding the pressure he is under to complete a spare room in his home, as company is expected to use it in the coming days.

After picking up his new tape measure he proceeds to spend an additional $400 on building materials for his project. Once the shopping is complete I suggest he approach the cashier and apologize. He does.

Empowerment: An empowered employee (cashier) could have prevented all the drama by asking the right questions and determining that by simply exchanging the tape measure, yes, breaking a rule, that a happy customer would have been the end result.

Customer Service: From a customer service point of view, a new cashier should not have been assigned the returns desk. They may lack the confidence and experience to deal with irate or difficult customers. This only adds fuel to the fire.

Don O’Connor,

POTSHOTZZ

@POTSHOTZZ

daisy@potshotzz.com