Dear KPMG...I want in!

Dear KPMG:

According to recent CBC news reports your accounting firm has assisted no less than 20 of the wealthiest Canadians in avoiding taxes through the use of dummy corporations on the Isle of Man.

In fact, KPMG has, so far, ignored a court order to disclose the names of clients involved in this tax avoidance scheme. One could say that your deep connections with government, its officials and agencies, has given KPMG unlimited free reign over the tax code, regardless of the legalities and consequences. 

Accountability! What accountability? Who needs it, right?

 VS

And then, somehow, KPMG manipulates the CRA into offering a secret deal for your clients! Wow, impressive! The CRA actually bowing down to the almighty power of KPMG. Masterful, just masterful.

So, as Danny Devito says to George Clooney, in the coffee-maker TV commercial, “I want in!”

Now, I do not have hundreds of millions of dollars to hide, like your Top 20 “1-percenters”, however, I want the same deal. I figure KPMG already has a template for such a scheme, right? Why not go all in and offer this scheme to every tax paying Canadian? Imagine sharing your tax avoidance scheme with millions of Canadians!

Instead of having to deal with 20 clients the CRA may have to chase 5 million clients! KPMG could charge each new client, based on their income, say about $250 each. $250 x 5 million!!! Holy Tax Avoidance!

And, KPMG could protect us all with a secret deal, too! I'm getting goose bumps just thinking about all the money Canadians could save with KPMG. Brrrrrrrrr!

I want to publicly thank the CBC for bringing this new tax plan to my attention. It now allows KPMG the opportunity to share their knowledge with the rest of the country. How lucky are we?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards, Your Potential Client

Daisy Chain